Geekery

Things that make you go hmmm

Posted on 17. Sep, 2009 by Jake in Unusual

I am pro-technology. I write a technology blog, so I don’t suppose this revelation will come as a surprise to you. Technology facilitates the advancement of the human race. No self-respecting technology blog reader would disagree.

However, sometimes technology is used for something so mind-bogglingly pathetic that it actually sets mankind back. Inventions so retarded that they make you feel that maybe life was better in caveman days after all, because at least back then no-one would have been able to manufacture something as stupid as the subjects of this here blog – things that should never have been invented.

For example, there are some people out there who are so lazy that they feel that lifting the toilet seat is just too much of an effort. There are others who are so obsessed with hygiene that they require rubber gloves in order to shake your hand. These people have gotten together to create one of the least necessary inventions of all time – the hands free automatic toilet seat.

Then, let me tell you about a friend of mine. He has a Roboraptor. It is a robotic dinosaur that runs around your house causing chaos for no apparent good reason. I would pay good money not to have one of these in my home. Along with the Tamagotchi, the Furbey and Sims, the inventor of this deserves a free frontal lobotomy. Get a kitten.

So we’ve messed up the world beyond repair and are hurtling towards extinction. But, don’t stress, there’s a solution. A car that has absolutely no power, no space, and is light enough for people to throw it into rivers. Which they actually do, enough for Smart Car Tipping to make the news: The dumbest part about the ironically named Smart Car is that it still runs on gas, and has the exact same fuel economy as other similarly small cars. Rather get a bicycle. Less people will laugh at you when they see you riding around in it.

Ok, so this is less an example of technology than something invented for technology to wear. But laptops don’t need clothing, I hear you protest. Yes they do, say the people who will earn money if they actually manage to convince anyone of this. “Well, why SHOULDN’T your laptop be warm & cozy too?” these people say. Don’t allow these people to prosper.

And finally, an invention so hilariously inane that it speaks for itself.  Allow me to introduce the DVD rewinder.
Nuff said I think.

Tags: blog, Dvd, geekery, Inventions, laptop, roboraptor, Smart Car, technology, toilet