Geekery

Paper Mario Brothers

Posted on 12. Jan, 2010 by Jake.

Is smartkid82504, who created this stop frame version of Mario Brothers 3, a genius or just a loser with too much time on his hands? Either way, this clip is pretty impressive…

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Top Ten Geek Pick-up Lines

Posted on 14. Dec, 2009 by Jake.

From the beginning of time, Geeks have drawn the short straw with the ladies. I say we take a stand. In today’s technology driven world, who is to say that “Geek Jargon” isn’t the in thing?

I have found a list of my favourite Geek Pick-up Lines that are sure to turn the average guy from geek to sleek in no time! Even if they don’t get the ladies going, they are a pretty good laugh so here goes:

• Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive!
• What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: We’ll add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply.
• Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell it on my calculator!
• I wish I was your secant line so I could touch you in two places.
• That dress would look better accelerating to the floor at 9.8 m/s/s.
• Forget Hydrogen, YOU are my number one element.
• You have 206 bones in your body… want one more?
• You are as sweet as 3.14
• I’m like a rubrix cube… the longer you play with me, the harder I get.
• Are you the square root of 2? ‘Cause I feel irrational around you.

If these pick-up lines don’t work for you, you can find more at www.funny-pick-up-lines.com/geek-nerd-pick-up-lines.html.

Best of luck with the ladies this holiday season!

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The 24,000 LED “Galaxy” dress

Posted on 19. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

Wearable tech is not a new concept but it can be safely said that 24,000 LEDs on a dress is pretty much cutting-edge, especially on the fashion front.

The combined energy consumption of the LEDs is apparently the same as what is needed to power 2 light bulbs. One wonders why LED technology isn’t used a lot more…

Anyway, the dress is set to be displayed in The Fast Forward Gallery at the Museum of Science and Technology in Chicago. Ladies, do you see yourself in one of these?

The music in the attached demo video is kinda creepy yet strangely pleasing… Enjoy!

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I hate your blog

Posted on 12. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

The pure socialist beauty of the blog is that anyone can have one. You don’t need a license or any form of qualification. These days they are like opinions, or arseholes, everybody has one, and many of them are full of shit. And so I present to you some of the worst blogs on the interweb:

1. Deep Thought: http://easyasfallingoffablog.blogspot.com

In its own words, this blog is about:

‘Random thoughts on subjects such as youth work, worship, God, the Church of England, films, paintings and occasional peeks at Latin, Medieval history, Merovingians and bishops along with a healthy smattering of children’s television, books, cooking and other oddities!’

If you find this interesting, you are probably the blog’s author, or a lobotomy patient, or maybe both.

2. Toast 99: http://hornytoubab.blogspot.com/

Billed as the ‘everyday musings of a middle-aged man’, the five most recent posts on this blog are about the author’s attempts to get his wife decent travel insurance. Gripping stuff.

3. Baller King: http://www.ballerking.com/

God’s gift to women now has his own blog.

It contains educational posts with titles such as ‘The Recession Will Make Getting Laid Easier’ and ‘becoming “exotic” and “intelligent” to a girl”‘.

Here is a sample of the blog’s sagely advice:

‘…when dating girls, remember two things:

1. Don’t spend too much money on them before they sleep with you. Otherwise they wont’ respect you.

2. You still need to pay for any date you go on with them though. So don’t go on any expensive dates before you stick it in her’.

I would bet any amount of hard cash that whoever writes this blog is actually a virgin with chronic BO and at least four cats.

4. Bad Hair Day: http://badhairday.typepad.com/bad_hair_day/

Yes, believe it or not this site is literally about catching people who are having bad hair days and posting the pics online. This is what happens when Heat Magazine’s rejection of your job application isn’t enough to kill your dream of being a writer.

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When Geeks Go Bad

Posted on 07. Oct, 2009 by Jake.

The problem with being a geek is that, for some reason, people feel that they can take advantage of you. I think that this is because generally, geeks are intelligent, nice people and not particularly well built. Add these three factors together and you have the recipe for exploitation. “Give me free IT advice, Jake”. “Format my PC, Jake”. “Invent a robot capable of tending to my every need, Jake”. You get the idea…

There comes a time, though, when all geeks have to stand up for their rights. Take their power back. No more Mister Nice Geek. This week’s post is dedicated to these brave geeks.

Unlike when dumber human beings engage in terrorist acts, geek terrorism tends to be subtler, less bloody, but far more thoughtful than the average revolutionary act. Take this unsung geek hero, for example, who decided to take revenge on his neighbours, who were steeling his wireless internet. Don’t mess with a geek, unless you want to spend some time browsing the upside down web.

Nerds aren’t the same as geeks. The distinction would require a whole other blog post. However, the nerd and the geek are ideological allies, and so I feel it’s necessary to include this laudable attempt on the part of nerds to organise themselves politically. The Nerd Liberation Movement sees nerds standing up for their rights,

“The Nerd Liberation Movement is dedicated to people who are smart and are not afraid to admit it. In today’s society, smart people are persecuted. We learn to act stupid so that normal people are comfortable around us. Some of us are tired of hiding the fact that we are intelligent people. We want to be able to express our intellect without ridicule”. Amandla!

It’s not only nerds who get a bit militant sometime. Militant geek is a home those eager to kick-start the geek revolution. Ok, well, so actually the site sells T-Shirts. Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara would not be proud. Still, the site does back-up my claim that geeks have had enough!

Not all geeks are ready to take up arms, though. This letter speaks of promoting integration between geeks and jocks, and dares to dream of a world where jocks and geeks all get along:  Inspiring stuff.

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