Geekery

Coffee without the break – The USB Coffee Warmer

Posted on 10. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

Having focussed lately on quite a few gadgets that have several functions, today I thought I’d keep it simple and concentrate on a device that can do one thing and one thing only. And the USB Coffee Warmer could not under any circumstances be accused of doing more than one thing.

A small USB-powered hot plate that sits next to your keyboard as if to say, ‘c’mon, spill it!’, the USB Coffee Warmer is for those people who work too hard and drink their coffee too slowly. It has the sole function of keeping your hot beverage hot, a function that it fulfils with aplomb. So in a sense I suppose it’s a successful gadget.

Intuitively, though, I have fundamental problems with the concept. As a geek and a non-smoker, the only opportunity I ever get to do something other than sitting in front of a computer screen is when I go and get another cup of coffee. Similar to those offices which ban Facebook, this is one of those inventions which seems to shout ‘work harder! Why are you sitting around drinking coffee. Now you can drink coffee and work at the same time, thanks to the USB Coffee Warmer!’ I have worked at places that would not have hesitated to buy one of these for each of it’s employees and then ban coffee breaks.

I have a friend whose dad once said to me, ‘You know, when we were growing up they told us that all this new technology would make our lives easier, and allow us to work less. Turns out it has just forced us to work harder’. And I completely see his point. In an age where we are supposed to be connected to the world and ready to reply to another email at all times, the coffee break is sacred. Please don’t get me one of these for Christmas.

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Geek God – Neil Gaiman

Posted on 06. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

Being a geek god shouldn’t just be reserved for those involved in the worlds of IT or technology or science. A true geek, contrary to the cliché, does not spend every waking hour on the computer. A true Geek also loves to read. And usually, Geeks love to read science fiction and fantasy and dark comedy and any truly brilliant writing which takes your mind to places it has never been before. Neil Gaiman is one of the few writers living today who can lay claim to having created work which encompasses elements of all the above.

Comic book geeks will know him mainly for the incredible Sandman series, a fantasy comic so layered and well-versed in myths and legends that it makes most other adult-oriented graphic novels look like Richie Rich. The series is based on the exploits of the endless, a group of mythical beings who existed since time did and who embody different natural forces of the universe, called Dream, Desire, Delerium, Despair, Destruction, and Destiny. Dream, or the Sandman, is the main character. The comic inspired one of the most respected writers who ever lived, Norman Mailer, to remark “along with all else, Sandman is a comic strip for intellectuals, and I say it’s about time.”

Those who prefer their books without pictures may know him for his novels, all of which have been heaped with critical praise. There was 1990’s ‘Good Omens’ a collaboration with the ultra-prolific king of fantasy-comedy , Terry Pratchett, followed by 2001’s ‘American Gods’, and 2005’s ‘Anansi Boys’. He has also written a bunch of books for kids, including his latest, ‘The Graveyard Book’, rated by some as his best yet, ‘The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish’, ‘Stardust’ and ‘Coraline’, both of which have become major films, the former staring Claire Daines and Robert De Niro and the latter a stop-frame animation.

Speaking of film, Gaiman has become increasingly involved as a screenwriter, co-writing the script for 2007’s ‘Beowulf’ with Roger Avery, and is currently working on a script based on Nicholson Baker’s novel ‘The Fermata’ alongside Robert Zemeckis. He also wrote ‘Neverwhere’, a ’90s BBC television series.

Gaiman has won so many awards that the idea of listing them all bores me. His extremely obsessive fans (such as me) and penchant for black clothes and leather often causes people to refer to him as the ‘rock star of the literary world’. But Gaiman’s too intelligent to be a rock star, so I declare him a Geek God instead.

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Riddles: Your Number’s Up

Posted on 04. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

Things are getting trickier as the year comes to it’s inevitable and less than graceful close. Ain’t it feel good that in this crazy world some things – maybe not the weather in Jo’burg, but some things – always make sense. That is, if you can figure ‘em out

Riddle 1 for the week

What do the following numbers have in common? (tricky one, this…)
3    7    10    11    12

Riddle 2 for the week

What is the next number in this series?
5   25   61   113   181   ..

Answers to be put up on the 16th of November.

Answers to last week’s riddles:

Problem 1:
Take the letters ERGRO. Put three letters in front of it, and the same three letters behind to form a common English word.
UND(ERGRO)UND

Problem 2:
Which of the following words is the
odd-one-out?
IBIS IBEX ORYX SIKA ZEBU
Ibis is a bird the rest are mammals

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3 Worthwile Ways to Waste Time

Posted on 03. Nov, 2009 by Jake.

My recent post, 3 Reasons Why The Internet Is Depressing, may create the impression that, since I have been rallying against stupid internet memes (like the Numa Numa kid and lolcats) or, worse yet, disgusting ones, I am the type of person who spends all of his time online doing important things like conducting stem-cell research or reading up on quantum physics. Not so. Sometimes I just waste time like everybody else, but there are some ways to do so which don’t involve revelling in human idiocy, and here are some of my favourites:

The Tone Matrix:

This nifty little online flash music making device is a sinewave synthesiser invented by the Andre Michelle laboratory. The synth is based on an AudioTools engine and is triggered by an ordinary 16step sequencer. Each triggered step causes a force on the underlaying wave-map. Or, tranlated into non-geek, you press different squares and in the process create interesting combinations of sounds when you play with it. It’s addictive.

Fake news:

Ok, so America’s best made up news source, The Onion, is a site most people have already heard of, but it remains one of the funniest places on the net to waste some time at.

If you want some real information rather than satire, their side-project, a site on movies, music, books, games and tv, The AV Club is excellent too.

And, for a more local flavour there’s our own answer to The Onion, Hayibo, a site with the slogan ‘breaking news. Into little pieces’ which describes itself as ‘South Africa’s second best source of made up news after the SABC’. Through intensive detective work I have discovered that the site is the brainchild of author Tom Eaton and, um, some other guys.

Online Tetris
Anyone who follows this blog, and who read the Geek God post on Tetris inventer Alexey Pajitnov will have guessed that I am a fan of the world’s most addictive puzzle game. Tetris Friends is an incredibly evil waster of time for any Tetris player. One registers and gets a profile and then competes against other people online in a bunch of different Tetris-related games, each of which offers a fresh twist on the original. I started off as a Beginner, and I’m now ranked as Elite (rank 14 out of 20).

What do you get if you get to rank 20, the highest rank? A giant loser sign tattooed on your forehead, that’s what. Anyone who wants to mess with this site should know that no amount of Tetris-brilliance will gain them the admiration of the opposite sex. You have been warned.

And a whole bunch of others are listed below. Don’t come crying to me when you miss every deadline you have in the next year. I took about fourteen hours to write this little blog post, because I took breaks inbetween to ‘test’ these sites:

http://mashable.com/2007/09/08/5000-resources-to-do-just-about-anything-online

http://thisissand.com/

http://www.unkno.com/

http://www.juliasneedledesigns.com/Air%20Force%20Test%20Game.htm

http://www.jamsbio.com/games/jamsMatchSolo

http://www.miniglobz.com/games/twinspin2_en.html

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Geek Goddess – Kari Byron

Posted on 30. Oct, 2009 by Jake.

Very seldom, but sometimes, Geek Gods also happen to be female and extremely hot. When this rare occurrence takes place one has to celebrate one of the only occasions on which nature has created a perfect balance between intellect and beauty. And Kari Byron from Mythbusters is undoubtedly one of the hottests geek in the world.

Anyone who watches the show today may get the feeling that Byron is a television personality who just stumbled into the geeky world of scientific experiments. However, proving her validity as a true Geek God, it’s actually the other way round. She used to show up one of the world’s leading special effects companies, Hyneman’s M5 Industries in the hope of getting a job there since she is a film geek who wanted to master the art of combining technology with art to create effects for film.

On her first day at work she was asked to help with a Mythbusters experiment, and since then her role in the show increased gradually until she was a regular. At first she felt uncomfortable on screen as she does not come from an entertainment background, but she got used to it, eventually becoming the cool, sassy Mythbuster we know today.

Byron is actually an artist foremost, and she showcases her sculptures on her website. Since her role on Mythbusters took off, though, she has made a decision to stop exhibiting, as she found that those who would attend exhibitions were mostly just interested in her because of the show.

She posed for FHM, as well as recreating the famous ‘diet coke and mentos’ explosion, which had also been performed on the show, and was voted into their sexiest woman list two years running, earning 68th and 69th place in 2007 and 2008 respectively.

She is married (sorry boys) and gave birth to her first child, a daughter, in February this year, meaning that she is officially now a MILF, as well as, obviously, a GILF. Ok, admittedly she isn’t of the intellectual calibre of most of the geeks in this section and will not be winning a nobel prize anytime soon. But for her rare and potent combination of brains, beauty and great breasts, she remains a true geek godess.

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