Geekery

Speaking geek

Posted on 16. Dec, 2009 by Jake in Unusual

I often hear poor jealous non-geeks complaining that geeks have their own language – a difficult and unique patois that can’t be understood by outsiders.

I went online to see if a n00b would be able to learn to speak geek using nothing but Google.

There are various sites offering dictionaries of geek terminology. Many of them, like the Webopedia, offer nothing more than boring IT definitions – and let’s face it, if you are a true geek you probably know what DHCP, OEM or CMOS means already, and if you’re not chances are you don’t want to know. Of much more interest to geek and non-geek alike are the definitions on Mainfraim.org’s GeekSpeak – it has definitions of some hilarious and uniquely geeky phrases, many of which perfectly capture the geek’s tendency to apply terms that used to be reserved for computers to everyday life.

Selected highlights:
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek around here.”
Doorstop: A computer that is no longer considered fast enough or to contain insufficient storage, etc. for use in normal work. All 286’s and 386’s are doorstops. Most 486’s are now doorstops. Soon we’ll see Pentium doorstops.
Egosurfing: Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.
Let’s take this off-line: Let’s talk about this later, after the meeting.
Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired.

For a comprehensive list of internet acronyms/ chat slang/ jargon, click here.

Sure, everyone knows what it means to LOL, and most people are familiar with the phrase WTF. But there the list includes some truly obscure examples, my favourite being :

BSEG – Big sh*t eating grin
DDSOS – Different day, same sh*t
IANAL – I am not a lawyer (expect an uninformed opinion)

So yes, we do have our own language, but don’t despair, with the help of Google even the greenest n00b will be talking like an uber-geek in no time. Good luck.

Tags: Add new tag, geek, geek language, geek speak, geekery, google