Geekery

Of Zombies, Malcolm Gladwell, and All Gold

Posted on 24. Aug, 2009 by Jake in Unusual

What would happen if a major city were attacked by a mob of zombies? This is a problem that keeps any sensible person awake at night. Fortunately science has the answer. Unfortunately, it’s not pretty.

According to “WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK!: MATHEMATICAL MODELLING OF AN OUTBREAK OF ZOMBIE INFECTION”, produced by researchers at University of Ottawa, a zombie attack would need to be dealt with swiftly to thwart a major catastrophe. Their mathematical model demonstrates that human civilisation would quickly be overwhelmed without fierce resistance.

So fear not. In case of invasion, attack; don’t hold back! Passive resistance or attempts to understand your enemy will be useless. Go get karate lessons… And buy a chainsaw!

Bear in mind that you’re going to have to destroy the zombie’s brain. The simplest way is to chop off it’s head, but, as this handy guide explains, it is sufficient to attack the cerebellum or brain stem. The zombie does not require the other parts of its brain for everyday rampaging.

Note that not any shot to the head will target the brain stem. To prepare, I suggest you memorise this diagram.

Returning to our study, the word ‘infection’ is a clue that this is more than just indulgent geekery (not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

The model could be useful in predicting the spread of vicious infectious diseases and determine if an aggressive response (which could be expensive or dangerous) is justified.

There is another interesting model for the spread of theoretical concepts.

Most of you will have heard of a new trend on the net described as a meme. Gossip sites like Gawker are always reporting on how some seemingly pointless, meaningless trend is being imitated from Williamsburg to Orlando.

What you might not know is that the word was coined by the renowned biologist (and celebrity atheist) Richard Dawkins. He argues that ideas can be measured as cultural units that can be measured in terms of social evolution.

The idea is complicated and not without its critics (I’m not crazy about it) but it can be a useful terms for understanding why some ideas stick and some fade away.

Before he became the rock star of the lecture circuit, Malcolm Gladwell was writing incisive pieces on unlikely phenomena. My favourite: why does bland tomato sauce persist while gourmet alternatives fail to capture the public imagination?

So I conclude with the most persuasive reasons for being a patriotic South African: the overwhelming superiority of All Gold.

Tags: All Gold, brain stem, Gawker, Malcolm Gladwell, meme, Richard Dawkins, Zombies