Geekery

Big, bad and obsolete: Computers of the 70s

Posted on 11. Feb, 2010 by Jake.

THE ALTAIR 8800 (1975)
If you were around in 1975, and happened to purchase this baby, all of your friends would be crowding around your desk, going ‘oooh’ and being jealous. While it may look a bit like your sound system’s amplifier, the Altair 8800 is considered by many to be the first mass produced personal computer, although it was known as a micro-computer at the time, since they were formerly about the size of an entire lounge. The device came as a kit which had to be assembled, a process that only technological wiz-kids would have attempted.

As oldcomputers.net explains:
“Since no keyboard or monitor was necessary, or cheaply available, users flipped switches on the front panel, writing their own programs in machine language, and watching the LEDs on the panel light up in response to their commands. Bill Gates and Paul Allen saw an opportunity and wrote Altair BASIC, a true programming language, and the first commercial Microsoft computer product. Monte Davidoff contributed maths routines, including the floating-point routines for Altair 4K BASIC”.

The IMSAI 8080 (1975)
The IMSAI 8080, with its appealing blue and red switches, was one of the first consumer computers available. And, while there were earlier ones available, the IMSAI was the first to be available ready assembled, not to mention the sexiest and best looking micro-computer so far. The machine inspired interest in computers as well as the launch of Byte Magazine, in 1975, who’s first front cover declared “Computers: The worlds greatest toy!”. But the world didn’t agree, not yet anyway, and when much more user friendly computers became available just a couple years later, IMSAI filed for bankruptcy.


Let’s hear from oldcomputers.net again: 
“In its simplest configuration with only a CPU (Central Processing Unit) card, you enter your program using the front panel switches, while reading the results on the LED indicator lights. No keyboard or other display is necessary. This type of programming is very slow and tedious – any mistake could corrupt the system and you’d have to start over again. Only true hackers were successful at efficiently operating an IMSAI 8080”.

THE IBM (5100) (1975)
This, IBM’s first microcomputer (it had only produced mainframes before) is often called the first portable computer, although, weighing in at 55 pounds, it was hardly a laptop (unless you have an unusually large lap). It took the technology to the next level. It was a complete system with a built in monitor (on of the first examples of this), keyboard and data storage. It was designed for professional scientists, not businessmen or casual users.

The Apple 1 (1976)
Even PC users would have to concede that Apple have come a long way when it comes to making machines. Their first computer was made by Steve Wozniack becaause he couldn’t afford one and wanted one. Also, he wanted to impress his friends, which he did at the Homebrew Computer Club, where Steve Jobs loved it so much he decided to try and sell some. The first Apple was sold as a kit which had to be assembled, and only 200 were made. It was only with the Apple 2, the following year, that the brand came, so named because Jobs once worked in an Apple orchard, came into its own.

The Apple 2 (1977)
While containing the same processor and running at the same speed as the Apple 1, the Apple 2’s improvements, which mainly made it more accessible to the average computer user and more aesthetically pleasing, made it one of the most popular early computers. It featured major innovations including a color display, eight internal expansion slots, and, wait for it… a case with a keyboard. Yes, back in the 70s this was by no means a standard feature. It ran Basic, the ‘Windows’ of the time, and this programming language made it the most user-friendly machine yet. But what made it popular was VisiCalc, a spread-sheet programme that was the Xcel of its time and made it incredibly useful for accountants. It was released on Apple because of the Apple 2’s superior memory – it supported a whopping 48K or Ram.

The Atari 400 and 800 (1979)
While most people remember Atari for their gaming consoles, the 70s saw them attempt to produce home computers as well. The Atari 400 was meant to be kiddy-friendly, and the 800 was its ‘big sister’. The machine would boot up into ‘notepad’, the only installed application. Everything else, including Basic, would run from a cartridge. As one would expect, the machine had an emphasis on gaming, and one could insert cartridges and play a range of arcade copies (Pacman and Donkey Kong included) and original games. Apparently, the machines were purposefully designed to look like typewriters, as users found these more ‘friendly’ than computers at the time.

Stay tuned for Part Two: Still Big, Slightly Better and Also Obsolete: Computers of the Eighties.

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It’s all Geek to me

Posted on 04. Jan, 2010 by Jake.

Recently I mentioned that non-geeks tend to complain that geek-speak is hard to understand as an outsider. Whiny as these non-geeks may be they are absolutely right, and not only do we have our own language but our own code too. For those lesser geeks who have never heard of it, The Geek Code was invented by Robert Hayden as a way for us to communicate exactly what kind of geek we are to our fellow geeks. There are various versions of the code, the latest being v3.12.

The geek code is used by geeks universally. It’s basically a few lines of code that define our level of geekdom and our personalities. Generating a geek code entails choosing from a variety of options including Type of Geek, Appearance, Age, level of computer literacy, politics and entertainment interests. Once you have generated your own code you are invited to add your geek code your signature file. The result? Other geeks will be able to know exactly where you stand, both as a geek and as a human being, just by looking at your code.

Being a geek is one thing, but these days more info is needed. How much do you pwn when it comes to computers, are you a PC or Mac user, are you left wing or right wing, do you love Star Trek or worship Babylon 5? Generate your own geek code and other geeks will be able to determine the above and more without even having to ask.

My geek code is:

—–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—–
Version: 3.1
GMC d? s+:- a- C+++ U+>$ P+ L- E W+++$ N++ o+++ K+++++ w++ O M+ V PS+ PE Y+ PGP++(++)>++ t–(–)>– 5+ X R tv- b+++ DI++ D++ G e+++ h r y+(+)
——END GEEK CODE BLOCK——

To decode it and find out a little more about me than the average person would want to know plug my code into :
The Geek Code Decoder .

To generate your own code automatically go
here.

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Speaking geek

Posted on 16. Dec, 2009 by Jake.

I often hear poor jealous non-geeks complaining that geeks have their own language – a difficult and unique patois that can’t be understood by outsiders.

I went online to see if a n00b would be able to learn to speak geek using nothing but Google.

There are various sites offering dictionaries of geek terminology. Many of them, like the Webopedia, offer nothing more than boring IT definitions – and let’s face it, if you are a true geek you probably know what DHCP, OEM or CMOS means already, and if you’re not chances are you don’t want to know. Of much more interest to geek and non-geek alike are the definitions on Mainfraim.org’s GeekSpeak – it has definitions of some hilarious and uniquely geeky phrases, many of which perfectly capture the geek’s tendency to apply terms that used to be reserved for computers to everyday life.

Selected highlights:
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek around here.”
Doorstop: A computer that is no longer considered fast enough or to contain insufficient storage, etc. for use in normal work. All 286’s and 386’s are doorstops. Most 486’s are now doorstops. Soon we’ll see Pentium doorstops.
Egosurfing: Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.
Let’s take this off-line: Let’s talk about this later, after the meeting.
Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired.

For a comprehensive list of internet acronyms/ chat slang/ jargon, click here.

Sure, everyone knows what it means to LOL, and most people are familiar with the phrase WTF. But there the list includes some truly obscure examples, my favourite being :

BSEG – Big sh*t eating grin
DDSOS – Different day, same sh*t
IANAL – I am not a lawyer (expect an uninformed opinion)

So yes, we do have our own language, but don’t despair, with the help of Google even the greenest n00b will be talking like an uber-geek in no time. Good luck.

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Favourite Fictional Geeks

Posted on 11. Dec, 2009 by Jake.

Writing a blog post on David Gemmell got me thinking how many geeks read fantasy novels about macho men with big swords, as if to make up for the fact in real life the closest they’ll get to combat with a sword is while playing World of Warcraft. But hang-on, I thought, surely there are some real geeks in the realm of fiction that we can look up to? Geeks who, while being heroes with mad skills and/or an insane amount of power are, in a way, just like us. So, I bring you some of my favourite fictional geeks.

Spiderman (Peter Parker) and Hulk (Bruce Banner)
In their own right, both Spidey and the not-so-jolly green giant are, while fearsome fighters when in the guise heir super-hero alter-egos, complete geeks when in normal human mode. Peter Parker is a brainy guy with glasses who gets good grades but struggles to succeed socially at school, while Bruce Banner is the polar opposite of the thoughtless monster he turns into when angry. He is a withdrawn, shy and extremely intelligent physicist. Respect.

Mohinder Suresh
He may be exceptionally good looking, and he may not live up to the geek stereotypes (the glasses, lack of social skills, greasy hair, etc), but Heroes’s main boffin, hailing from Chennai in India, is a geek, make no mistake. As a genetics professor, Suresh is an expert on impressive sounding things things like algorithms, the genetic fight-or-flight impulse and the Shanti virus. While many other characters on the show can be found partying, Suresh is most often perched behind a screen or buried in a book, determined to discover what he needs to… even if it takes all night! Oh, and he’s hot. And his status as one of the few geeks with pulling power make him an aspirational character.

Marshal Flinkman
One of the stars of TV’s CIA action drama, Alias, Flinkman is a true geek hero. He is kind of the series’ Q, inventing incredible gadgets. He is also an expert in robotics, chemistry, acoustics, electronics, biometrics, explosives, computer networks, and has a photographic memory to boot. Despite all his skills though, he is completely socially inept. Just like many of us! While Mohinder Suresh gives geeks false hope that we will all one day be charming and debonair, most of us unfortunately are a lot more like Flinkman.

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That Ain’t Working – Bizarre Internet Success Stories

Posted on 04. Dec, 2009 by Jake.

Some people spend their lives studying, honing their craft and grafting hard to put food on the table. Others simply think of a bizarre internet get rich quick scheme, execute it and then sit back and laugh all the way to the bank. Reading about these bizarre, unlikely money-making success stories, one is left with the impression that the people who started these sites are either geniuses or just incredibly stupid and incredibly lucky.

1. The Million Dollar Homepage
In 2005 a 21-year-old English student named Alex Tew had an idea to help with his university fees – he started a website arranged in a 1000 x 1000 pixel grid and sold each pixel for a dollar to advertisers (Tew felt that people were more likely to respond to the idea if he used dollars rather than pounds). Despite the fact that the result is one of the most boring and spam-heavy sites in history, Tew succeeded in selling all the space on his site, and grossed over a millon dollars in the process. The site is still up there, and you can go see it, if you really want to – it’s a pointless if colourful slice of history.

2. Save Toby

Few people have ever mixed black humour with internet entrepeneurship, which is why Save Toby deserves a place in history. The site features pictures of a cute bunny rabbit, with its anonymous webmasters threatening to cook and eat Toby unless they receive $50,000 in donations to care for. Banking details were provided, as were a variety of rabbit recipe, just to show that they were ‘serious’. One could make a donation or buy a variety of ‘Save Toby’. Since the sites creators remained anonymous, it’s unclear how much money they made off the website, or, in fact, if Toby actually exists/existed. Just in case he does/did, good news for animal lovers is that Toby was saved by Bored.com, who bought the site, thereby sparing Toby from the pot.

3. John Chow

His site adorned with the tag ‘I Make Money Online By Telling People How To Make Money Online’, John Chow is the ultimate internet entrepeneur, as he appears to make money for no apparent good reason. He has 50 000 plus followers on Twitter, despite the fact that his tweets include links to pictures of his lunch (BBQ chicken and chips) and advice on where to get customised M&Ms. According to Chow himself. ‘I am best known for his famous quote “My World! My Rules!” and “Oh well.”’ According to most others, Chow is best known for having a high-profile battle with Google, which has since been resolved but saw Chow’s popularity and fame skyrocket, to the point that now, by his own admission, he makes roughly $40 thousand a month from clicking the occasional button.

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